Candiru
by nagaruda
Summary: Dirk is not an ordinary merman. This contains blood, slight gore, watersports, and parasitism.


Dirk was pretty small for a merman. He was just barely three inches long. It looked like he was small and couldn't do much, but in reality he could wreck shit easily. He had barbs on part of his body that usually ended up going through solid flesh when he fed on something.

Dirk fed in a pretty terrifying way. When someone went into the river he lived in, he would swim into them through any opening that he could find. Then he would jab his barbs in so he stayed put and he would eat. Dirk could pretty much be considered a parasite.

He usually ate the blood his host had. He would sometimes take off some flesh too though. He could also swim into his host if they tried to piss in the river. It was easy to just go up the stream of piss and wiggle his way in. But it served them right for trying to piss in the river in the first place, because a lot of other things had to live there. Usually his kind only swam into fish gills and Dirk had had to do that a few times,but Dirk preferred swimming into people's ureathras because it gave him some kind of smug satisfaction.

That day, a perfect host just happened to be walking along the river. His name was Jake English, and he had a very strong love for adventure. Jake liked to take strolls along large rivers like the one he was going along that day because it was very pleasant. The river was long though, so it fed his sense of adventure well enough.

And it really was a beautiful day to be out. The sunlight shimmered through the peeking out between the bright green leaves. There was a light breeze in the air and it helped to make it just the right temperature to go outdoors.

Jake stopped to rest, sitting down on a large rock at the edge of the river. The water was a nice shade that was only the smallest bit unclear. Jake could see the patterned surfaces of the rocks at the bottom in some of the less deep places. He smiled at the scene. Yes, this was an absolutely wonderful day to go outdoors on a grand adventure!

Suddenly though, he felt a twinge in a low place in his body. Oh bullocks, he had to take a piss didn't he? It ruined the mood quite a bit.

He looked about for a place to do it and saw the river. Well...it would just wash away after he did it wouldn't it? Jake started to pull down his shorts, stepping into the cool water. He sighed as he let a small trickle of urine into the river.

Which happened to be exactly what Dirk was looking for. The small merman could pick up fact that someone was pissing in the river. He was small enough to fit through the ureathra of the guy, so he swam right up to it.

Dirk wiggled his body into the first opening he could find that had piss coming out of it. Sure he got pretty drenched in it, but it was worth it. When Dirk's whole body had made it into the tube like space, the stream of piss finally stopped. He sighed and wiggled up further into his host, looking for a good place to just kind of hang out and eat.

Jake sighed as he finished, getting a tissue out of his bag and using it to wipe off his cock. He tossed the tissue off to the side and pulled up his shorts. It had felt just a bit odd when he did his business aside from the fact that his bottom was now a bit wet, but he decided not to think anything of it, after all, there was still more of a river for him to explore!

Dirk kept swimming. He finally got to a fork in the road with the tube where it split off into two other tubes. Dirk knew just which one to take. He swam up the one that he knew was still the ureathra. As he expected, it curved a little bit when he got further in.

The tube eventually ended and dirk wiggled into the bigger space of Jake's ureathra. It was actually pretty huge compared to Dirk's tiny body. He smirked ever so slightly as he found a good place to sink in his spines.

Jake was still walking along when he felt a sudden sharp pain in the lower part of his body. He clutched his abdomen and winced. Golly it felt like someone had just bloody stabbed him! What on earth was that sensation?

He fell to his knees and curled up for a few moments on the ground before the sensation finally dulled out to a pain that was just small and lingering in his body. He got up, continuing to walk along.

Until he felt another jolt of pain a few minutes later. What the blazes was wrong with him?! There had to be something awfully wrong for him to be feeling that sort of pain in his body. Perhaps getting some help would be in order? If he was in that sort of pain a visit to the doctor would be awfully good.

He started to make his way to the nearest town instead. It would be a much better thing to do. He hoped it wasn't anything serious at all, but he still needed to know what was off about his body.

Jake eventually reached the town and realized that oddly enough he had to use the restroom. It hadn't been that much of a gap between when he had used it last, but sure enough he had to go again. He made his way to the nearest one that he could find, standing in front of a urinal and pulling down his shorts.

Jake winced this time instead of feeling the normal relief of it all as the yellow stream with a bit of red mixed into it trickled into the toilet. That certainly couldn't be good at all if it was that color. He really did need to go to a doctor for it.

He could have sworn though, that he hear the faintest of chuckling coming from somewhere nearby. But there was absolutely no one else in the restroom and he couldn't tell just where the odd voice was coming from.

"Hello...?" He called out.

There was no answer.

Jake walked into the doctors office and was told to take a seat while other people who had worse conditions went in. Eventually though, it was Jake's turn. He described his symptoms as best he could, telling the doctor all about the pain and the blood in his piss.

Then Jake was asked if he had been swimming or if he had urinated in any sort of stream or river nearby. Jake went pale and told the doctor that he had indeed done both of those things. The doctor just shook his head.

There was a long and very awkward silence before the doctor spoke again. He told Jake about a kind of fish that there had been some rare sightings of in the area. There had been a few attacks that had happened. It was rare, but there had been a few. The creature would damage his bladder by eating the flesh of the walls. There was currently no way to remove the thing that anyone knew of. Sometimes though, if the host of the fish was lucky, it would just suck blood instead of killing the host.

Jake nodded grimly and left the office. He glanced down at his abdomen. Why on earth would any such creature even exist?! Why the frick did it have to find him..? It was just awful.

He found a hotel room to stay in and sat on the bed, sighing. Suddenly, he heard a voice in the room. "I'm willing to make a deal you know."

Jake jumped a bit at the voice. "Who the fricking bludgeon are you?!" He was hearing voices again. Why the devil was he hearing voices...? He must have been off his rocker in some way from the awful stress of the news he had heard.

"I'm the guy in your body. You know, the one the doctor said would wreck shit in here if I try to feed.

Jake blinked. "Then how the devil are you talking to me? Arnt you just some sort of odd fish?"

"Yeah, you could kind of say that. I'm a merman, but the doctor probably didn't tell you that."

"No...not at all." Jake sat there, wondering if he was having some sort of dream. A talking parasitic merman in his bladder seemed far too bizarre to be real.

"Yeah. No one ever guesses its a merman. We're pretty rare."

"So what sort of bargain are you willing to strike with me then chap?"

Dirk shrugged. "Just let me drink your blood and live in here. Shit, I don't want a good source of food to die. Just keep doing what you're doing and ignore the blood."

Jake rolled his eyes "Alright. I suppose I don't really have much of a choice in the matter."


End file.
